Unless you're exceptionally lucky, the path to breaking out of the closet can prove to be a path crazily paved with pain and heartache. The results can be wildly unpredictable - estrangement from some or all your family, loss of lovers, lifelong friends. Even your pet cat might turn her nose up at you!
Many of the Tgirls who emerge fron the closet will tell you that it's the most liberating thing you can do. Yes, that's true but I have lotsa sympathy for gurls who feel they have to live below radar and make the best of fleeting opportunities for dressing. I've been in that situation myself in the past. Yes, that arch fraudster Lucia Ferri... living with GGs and trying her best to pretend she's a regular fella.. gosh! (Hey.. don't laugh! ok.. on second thoughts laugh all you like har di har!!)
So, for those young Tgirls who for one reason or another have to keep things secret for now, I'd like to point out ten things you might not be aware of. It's not a comprehensive list but what there of it stems from real life situations!
1. Buy your own clothes. Have you any idea how easy it is to put a big fat ladder in your girlfriend's or mum's tights. Think they won't notice? Think again. Also, how would you like the feeling of coming home and suspecting someone had been wearing YOUR clothes? Creepy or what!!
2. When wearing wigs watch out for stray strands. The buggers can get everywhere. Be prepared to vacuum sofas and beds if you've spent an afternoon flouncing about. Girlfriends have a scary habit of finding stray alien hairs. Worst case scenario - they'll assume you're cheating on them. Explain your way out of that!
3. Buy good quality make up remover and top quality eye make up remover. Three reasons are: a. To remove make up quickly and completely... b. To avoid stinging eyes and skin... c. To spare your complexion for later life. When you hit 40 and you're dressing almost full time you'll absolutely wish you'd been kinder to your skin.
4. Avoid glittery clothes, make up and nail varish.
5. Don't be tempted to try out those stick on french nails you've been dying to wear. Have you ever tried getting them off? The glue is a total bitch! Also, they can unknowingly pop off, vanish and lie around waiting to be found by someone other than you.
6. Make time to regularly wash your girlie clothes. Don't worry about going to launderettes.. plenty of man-things are sent out to wash their girlfriend's clothing - including lingerie. No-one will bat an eyelid or suddenly point at you and scream, 'Call the police! Aggggh! That lad's a transvestite!' Think about this. How yucky is it to wear clothing, stick it in a bag for a week, take it out and wear it again etc etc?!!
7. Buy your own make up. You probably have no idea how observant females are. Let me clue you in - they're highly observant. Also, using someone else's eye make up, even your girlfriends? Ask a doctor. They'll tell you the truth... totally unhygenic and dangerous.
8. Once in a while, your sister or girlfriend will purchase a dress, skirt or sexy panties that will drive you crazy with lust to try on. Resist the temptation with all your might. If you dress for purely fetishistic reasons (some girls do... hey, I'm not being in any way judgemental here) be especially warned. Girly cocks leave hideous stains. My good pal Jan who dresses for pleasure and sometimes slips into his wife's undies, has a useful tip. Wear a condom!
9. Time is not your friend. The one thing that will eventually drive you out from that dark constricting closet is time. Many a secret Tgirl has been caught in the act by not respecting time. Leave enough of it to ensure you can put everything away neatly, gently remove that slap if you've had time to put it on and enough so you can mentally return to your man-thing state. Most Tgirls undergo some form of mannerism change when dressed. Your family and friends will be baffled to see you swishing across the room like you're still wearing those six inch heels.
10. As an aspiring Tgirl you probably spend time surfing the web for photos of other girls. Hey, go for it.. we are a huge, marvellous and under appreciated community. But, if secrecy is currently your thing, learn how to cover your tracks. I overheard a concerned and tearful mum on the bus recently talking to her friend about her son. She'd found out he'd been visiting transgender porn sites and was devastated. For example, Google will alphabetically record your recent visits only it's not Google's doing. It's a feature of your browser so find it and learn how to zap it.
Mostly I wanna say this. If you really are stuck in the Tgirl closet, please don't stress yourself. Tgirliness can become the biggest thing in your life or remain a small but significant part of it. Either way, have fun and fer gawd's sake..don't take it too seriously!!!
