how to handle guys

I get lots of questions from younger gurls about this knotty subject. 'How to handle guys?' Gosh, how I wish I had a stock answer to that one. Perhaps there's a whole series of answer.. and just as many mysteries!!

1. Guys are always unique individuals.. except when they're in a man-gang when they usually behave quite differently. Here's an rather extreme example from my youthful Tgirl clubbing days - the drunken fella who called me a 'F**king queer' in front of his mates and. later that evening shocked me by brushing against me from behind, lingering long enough to give my bum a rough squeeze as he pushed a note into my hand. The note wasn't the death threat I expected but simply said 'You're gorgeous - call me' along with his name and number. And no, I didn't call him.. or rush over to his 'pack' waving his note and exposing his hypocrisy.

It's easy to forget that a man alone is so very different from the man out with his mates.


2. Guys are usually five times more nervous of us Tgirls than we are of them. Don't get me wrong. I love confident experienced guys but they can also be the worst kind of man-thing.
Yes, those yummy shy guys!! Be prepared to watch for the merest signs of interest from interested fellas. In their crazy man-thing heads they often think they're being forward and explicit when all they're actually doing is stealing a quick glance in your direction. If you like the look of him, catch his eye and smile your most honest open smile. Encourage him gently but don't make a move even if he doesn't take up your offer. I can't tell you how many potentially fab guys I've scared off by being too eager!!
Be prepared to do most of the chatting. Some fellas can talk you under the table but there's plenty of strong silent types out there who don't seem to notice or mind if the conversation is entirely you yakking away. I'm not saying yakk your head off automatically - just be prepared just in case, ok.

3. Are you sure you wanna lie with a man? If you're a young Tgirl with no previous man-thing experience, get ready to be shocked. Not wishing to come over as bitchy but it's quite easy to spot the inexperienced Tgirls when you're out at a club. They're the ones who look like a goldfish in an open bowl with a big bad puddy cat prowling overhead!!!

Girls, you may well have spent most of your life living as (or even pretending to be) a regular guy, but once you're out there in the big bad world dressed up in heels, slap and party frock - heavens, babes! You've entered the twilight zone. Get ready to forget everything you think you know. Generally, if interested, the man-things will either give you one of two looks -THAT SEXUAL LOOK followed by a hilarious twisted stare as they realise you're a Tgirl and not a GG (omigawd!!!) or -THAT SEXUAL LOOK followed by an even stronger 'wow' stare (deliciously powered by attraction). Whatever you do, don't stare back with a blokish 'Who are you looking at?' look. Keep it together. Focus on your amazing Tgirly core. And treat those looks for what they actually are - huge compliments.

Sweetie, the worst feeling in the world is to spend all day slaving to look lovely, then to step out and find yourself thoroughly ignored. And need I say it, you don't have to dress like a tart to look fabulous. Follow your heart and always dress to flatter your strengths, whatever cards the genetic lottery has dealt you.

Girls, we are gorgeous and if a guy gets close to us, he's likely in for a treat!

More on this subject down the line.. eeeeeeeeeek!

10 ways to get found out

Unless you're exceptionally lucky, the path to breaking out of the closet can prove to be a path crazily paved with pain and heartache. The results can be wildly unpredictable - estrangement from some or all your family, loss of lovers, lifelong friends. Even your pet cat might turn her nose up at you!

Many of the Tgirls who emerge fron the closet will tell you that it's the most liberating thing you can do. Yes, that's true but I have lotsa sympathy for gurls who feel they have to live below radar and make the best of fleeting opportunities for dressing. I've been in that situation myself in the past. Yes, that arch fraudster Lucia Ferri... living with GGs and trying her best to pretend she's a regular fella.. gosh! (Hey.. don't laugh! ok.. on second thoughts laugh all you like har di har!!)

So, for those young Tgirls who for one reason or another have to keep things secret for now, I'd like to point out ten things you might not be aware of. It's not a comprehensive list but what there of it stems from real life situations!

1. Buy your own clothes. Have you any idea how easy it is to put a big fat ladder in your girlfriend's or mum's tights. Think they won't notice? Think again. Also, how would you like the feeling of coming home and suspecting someone had been wearing YOUR clothes? Creepy or what!!

2. When wearing wigs watch out for stray strands. The buggers can get everywhere. Be prepared to vacuum sofas and beds if you've spent an afternoon flouncing about. Girlfriends have a scary habit of finding stray alien hairs. Worst case scenario - they'll assume you're cheating on them. Explain your way out of that!

3. Buy good quality make up remover and top quality eye make up remover. Three reasons are: a. To remove make up quickly and completely... b. To avoid stinging eyes and skin... c. To spare your complexion for later life. When you hit 40 and you're dressing almost full time you'll absolutely wish you'd been kinder to your skin.

4. Avoid glittery clothes, make up and nail varish.

5. Don't be tempted to try out those stick on french nails you've been dying to wear. Have you ever tried getting them off? The glue is a total bitch! Also, they can unknowingly pop off, vanish and lie around waiting to be found by someone other than you.

6. Make time to regularly wash your girlie clothes. Don't worry about going to launderettes.. plenty of man-things are sent out to wash their girlfriend's clothing - including lingerie. No-one will bat an eyelid or suddenly point at you and scream, 'Call the police! Aggggh! That lad's a transvestite!' Think about this. How yucky is it to wear clothing, stick it in a bag for a week, take it out and wear it again etc etc?!!

7. Buy your own make up. You probably have no idea how observant females are. Let me clue you in - they're highly observant. Also, using someone else's eye make up, even your girlfriends? Ask a doctor. They'll tell you the truth... totally unhygenic and dangerous.

8. Once in a while, your sister or girlfriend will purchase a dress, skirt or sexy panties that will drive you crazy with lust to try on. Resist the temptation with all your might. If you dress for purely fetishistic reasons (some girls do... hey, I'm not being in any way judgemental here) be especially warned. Girly cocks leave hideous stains. My good pal Jan who dresses for pleasure and sometimes slips into his wife's undies, has a useful tip. Wear a condom!

9. Time is not your friend. The one thing that will eventually drive you out from that dark constricting closet is time. Many a secret Tgirl has been caught in the act by not respecting time. Leave enough of it to ensure you can put everything away neatly, gently remove that slap if you've had time to put it on and enough so you can mentally return to your man-thing state. Most Tgirls undergo some form of mannerism change when dressed. Your family and friends will be baffled to see you swishing across the room like you're still wearing those six inch heels.

10. As an aspiring Tgirl you probably spend time surfing the web for photos of other girls. Hey, go for it.. we are a huge, marvellous and under appreciated community. But, if secrecy is currently your thing, learn how to cover your tracks. I overheard a concerned and tearful mum on the bus recently talking to her friend about her son. She'd found out he'd been visiting transgender porn sites and was devastated. For example, Google will alphabetically record your recent visits only it's not Google's doing. It's a feature of your browser so find it and learn how to zap it.

Mostly I wanna say this. If you really are stuck in the Tgirl closet, please don't stress yourself. Tgirliness can become the biggest thing in your life or remain a small but significant part of it. Either way, have fun and fer gawd's sake..don't take it too seriously!!!

Starting off

Who the hell am I to offer advice to anyone??!!!

Mind you. I do get a lot (and I mean a LOT) of emails from young aspiring Tgirls asking me about this and that. Where's the best place to buy shoes, shopping tips, what scent to wear, how to choose the right make up. Gosh, I don't know the answer to any of these things.. and I'd hate to put those highly paid 'stylists' out of a job.. lol!

Neva-da-less, I'm more than happy to share what little I've gleaned over da years 'cos - heaven knows - for most of us gurls the journey to the wonderful land of T-dom (rhymes with 'freedom') is a long and often painful one. If I can make one Tgirls' day a little brighter, help in anyway at all, then I'll be utterly delighted.

Posts will follow whenever I can get some downtime..ok!

luv to you all... Lucia xxxxx